If you’re looking for ways to combat anxiety and stress and to stay calmer in dangerous situations, then perhaps you are someone who struggles with anxiety and you have found that it is preventing you from getting everything you want out of life. If you find yourself regularly transfixed in fear and unable to stay calm and collected, then there’s a good chance that it will have made it hard for you to take on leadership roles, it may have prevented you from approaching women or men in a dating context and it might even have limited your career progression.
With that in mind, here’s one strategy you can use to overcome the problem. And we’re going to apply this to the context of dating.
Removing the Danger
The idea is to look at whatever it is that you’re actually afraid of and then to remove the danger of that happening before you proceed. So if you’re afraid of approaching someone in a bar, ask yourself what about that it is that you find scary.
In all likelihood, you’ll discover that the real fear is about:
- Getting rejected
- Being laughed at
- Making a fool of yourself
So your objective is now to remove those dangers. How can you do that?
One way would be to carefully select the people you approach and to make sure they’re interested in you before you go up to chat them. How might you do that? One example is to try smiling at them from across the bar before you approach.
While hanging out with friends, scan the room for people you’re interested in and then flash a smile to the ones that you would like to get to know. If they look away, then you haven’t lost face and no one even needs to know about what just happened. But if they smile back, then this can be taken as a promising sign that they’re probably interested – and you can then approach with a lot more confidence.
Still nervous? Then how about approaching as a group of friends as though you just want to chat and have fun with them as a group. This way you still aren’t necessarily going over to ask anyone out and you can speak in a much safer environment while you get indications that they’re interested in you.
There are many other scenarios where you can remove the danger. Come up with the best strategy and contingency plans and you can remove the elements that are causing your anxiety!